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hypothesis

today I have stolen the umbrella. I tried to imagine the effects that such an event can have, depending on the political context.
Hypothesis 1: I steal an umbrella under a center-left government. The news
mettono la notizia in apertura, i quotidiani nazionali in prima pagina. I politici di entrambi gli schieramenti deplorano l'episodio, il centrodestra accusa il governo di scarsa attenzione verso il problema della sicurezza. Forattini disegna una vignetta in cui un omino sta sotto la pioggia senza ombrello (didascalia: "Piove, governo ladro"). Il secondo giorno viene identificato il ladro: è un romeno con precedenti per spaccio di parapioggia. Vespa fa una puntata speciale di Porta a Porta con un plastico della biblioteca in cui mi hanno rubato l'ombrello, la ricostruzione della dinamica del furto secondo il Ris di Parma, un esperto che spiega perché gli extracomunitari hanno una predisposizione genetica al furto e alla violenza, e una soubrette che mostra Tit. Calderoli calm releases statements about gypsies who steal umbrellas to the Po Valley who have worked hard to buy it ("but not a Gypsy, is simply a citizen of Romania" - "why? What's the difference?") And called chemical castration. Bossi ordered five hundred thousand rifles, Borghezio offers a precise point where the body of immigrants stick umbrellas. Veltroni says you have to react in the strongest terms but do not forget the solidarity, and asked me to run for the House with the Democratic Party. In the following days if there are other cases of theft of umbrellas throughout Italy, all administered by the center in the city. The media now speak of "emergency umbrellas." The Council of Ministers shall prepare an emergency ordinance to facilitate the expulsion of non-sustained in the event of bad weather. Concerns the European Commission. PRC, Verdi, Italian Communists and the Left Democratic protest, declaring that we must understand the social problems leading to the theft of umbrellas and threaten not to vote for the bill. The DL is launched when the ministers of the radical left are in the bathroom, but it will be left to decay (the government is afraid to take him in the Senate because Rita Levi Montalcini and abroad for a conference and Scalfaro has some 'flu). Yet criticism by the opposition against a government that can guarantee the security of citizens. The story takes bench until the next rape, robbery in villa o infanticidio.
Ipotesi 2: mi rubano l'ombrello sotto un governo di centrodestra.
Cazzi miei, me ne devo comprare un altro.